Good afternoon and TGIF kids, I am happy to let you know that today is my 10th sober day and I feel fucking great. Plus, last night I decided to attend my first remote AA meeting and I loved it. To be honest, I should have listened to my shrink, when he suggested it a while back. I guess I really enjoyed it, mostly because unlike in person meetings, there was no chitchat going on in the back of the room, so I was able to listen and appreciate what the person was sharing.
Good morning and happy Tuesday boys, girls and others. I am happy to inform you, that after 18 days without drinking, I fucked up again, but no worries kids, today is my 7th alcohol-free day and I’m fucking happy.
Good morning and happy hump day boys, girls and others. I am happy to report, that today is my 14th day without drinking and I feel like Tony the tiger… Grrreat! I have to say, that these 14 days have been easy, because my lovely wife has been keeping super duper busy on the weekends, which are my weak days. But because of my Bipolar, I have been having many depressed days for the last couple of months, and that is the reason why my shrink decided to up my dose of Lithium from 300 mg to 450 mg a day. Right now I’m still working from home and I’m also dealing with some issues with my 26 year old son. Other than that, I can’t complain.
Good morning and happy Monday boys, girls and others. Today is a rainy day here in New York City, but I’m still happy, because today is my 12th alcohol-free day. What is more important is, that since I’m not an everyday drinker, but a weekend binge drinker, I’ve been alcohol-free for the past two weekends. WOO-HOO!
I’ve just been keeping myself busy with family, my baby, work and my hobby. The whole trick is keeping my mind busy. I know that some weekends it doesn’t work and I fuck up, but what counts is that I’m trying, and 12 days are 12 days here and in any other part of the world.
It doesn’t matter what your drug of choice is, if you are using something else only because it is not, then what you are trying to do is change the way that you feel. You see, the problem is not your drug of choice, it’s what’s inside of you.
I am happy to report, that today is my 10th alcohol-free day and I feel fucking great! Aside from that, yesterday I saw a longtime friend of mine, who has been struggling with alcoholism for many years. The thing about him is that unlike me who can go months without drinking, he can only stop for a few days and then all bets are off.
I’ve seen him a couple of times this week, he looked drunk, and he told me that he has been drinking for days none stop. When I asked him how many days has it been? He didn’t remember. When I saw him yesterday, he told me that he was coming from an alcoholism program, but on his way home, he stopped to buy some beers, because he couldn’t help it, as a matter of fact, he showed them to me in a plastic bag. He also mentioned that because of his drinking, he hasn’t been eating, which I understood, because when I go on a bender, is the same thing.
The truth is, that yesterday I saw a reflection of myself in him. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not comparing myself to him, it’s just that I imagine that I must look something like that when I go on a bender for a few days. I just wished that I knew what to say to him. But how can I help someone, when I can’t help myself?
Even though I’m surrounded by people who love me… I feel alone. Even if I have everything that I need… I feel empty. Even if I have so much to be thankful for… I feel sad. You see, sometimes it gets so overwhelming… and that is why sometimes I go on a bender, to fill the emptiness and stop the pain inside of me.