Dealing With My Trust Issues

Good morning and TGIF kids! I hope that wherever you are in this crazy rock we call home; you are enjoying yourself to the fullest without alcohol or drugs. Remember, no matter how many times you have fucked up in the past, keep your head up and take it one day at a time.

Yesterday I went to my Thursday AA meeting, and even though I don’t share because of my social anxiety, I find it helpful to identify with those who do share. One thing that I have come to understand by listening to other people’s experiences is, that even though I’m an open minded and easy to get along person, I have to let my guard down and be open to new friendships.

What I’m saying is, that my entire life I have been dealing with trust issues, and that is the reason why I have a small circle of friends. The way that I’m starting to look at life is, that whatever is going to happen, is going to happen. If someone betrays me, fine, all I can do is move on.

With that said, I am Audi 5000 y’all!

I’m Missing Something Inside

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OK kids, even though I have never been a very religious person, for years now, I’ve been feeling as if something has been missing in my life. I have been trying to figure it out like crazy, and the only explanation that I could come up with is, that I am missing a higher power. So yesterday, I went to church for the first time in years, and I really enjoyed it. As a matter of fact, I’m planning on going back on a regular basis.

The way that I look at it is, that by working with my shrink, getting out of my comfort zone no matter how uncomfortable it might feel sometimes, attending 2 AA meetings a week, going to church once a week and keeping myself busy with other things, I don’t need alcohol in my life.

With that said, I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Keeping My Crazy Mind Busy

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As I mentioned on yesterday’s super boring post, I got out of my comfort zone and drove about an hour to a casino in Pennsylvania with my wife, her mother, her stepfather and two friends.

I have to say, that even though I’m not into gambling, getting away from the every weekend routine, really helped me keep my crazy mind away from my weekend binge drinking. As a matter of fact, after the trip, I got home so tired, that I fell asleep as soon as my body hit the bed. So there you have it, a busy mind keeps the alcohol away.

With that said, I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Outside My Comfort Zone

OK kids, I am happy to say, that today I have been alcohol for 12 days and I feel fucking great! Specially because I don’t have to deal with hangovers and all the other shits that come with them. I know that it hasn’t been that long, but something is better than nothing.

On another note. Even though I do not gamble, today I am driving my wife, her mother and a friend to a casino in Connecticut. You see, I believe that getting out of my comfort zone, is particularly important for me, in order to stay alcohol-free. I must do things that keep my mind busy, especially during the weekends, since I am a weekend binge drinker. The thing is, that I cannot be afraid to experience new things in life. I know that from time to time, the road ahead is not going to be an easy one, but if I believe in myself and with the support of family and friends, I will make it.

With that said, I am Audi 5000 y’all!