Next month is going to be one year since I started working remotely. At first, I enjoyed it a lot, because the weather was warm and I could go out for my smoke breaks, see friends and clear my mind. But once the dreaded autumn and winter started, everything went downhill for me, because even when I’m not working, I have to stay home doing shit. After a while, everything becomes fucking boring, TV, music, news, streaming services and social media alike. It’s just fucking crazy.
Usually, I drink a large cup of coffee with milk in the morning in order to keep awake while I work, but when that doesn’t work, I drink from 1 to 2 energy drinks, as a matter of fact, the higher the caffeine content the better. But as we all know, too much of a good thing is bad, so I decided to try and keep away from energy drinks as much as I can, because it doesn’t help with my anxiety either. Right now, I haven’t had one in four days and to be honest, it seems to me that my anxiety is getting better.
With that said, I’m Audi 5000 y’all!
Yesterday I had my monthly virtual session with my shrink Dr. C and to be honest, he wasn’t disappointed with my on and off weekend drinking, because I’m not letting it get out of control like I usually do with my weekend binge drinking.
Other than that, we talked about the challenges that I’ve been facing while working from home since mid March, my OCD intrusive thoughts, my Bipolar II racing thoughts, depression and mania. I told him that I’ve been feeling pretty good, but that I take the mania over the depression any time, because I’m full of energy and I get a lot of things done. He laughed and told me that most people say the same thing. There was no change to my crazy meds, which are Prozac 80mg, Lithium 300mg and Ambien 10mg. The next time I’ll see him, will be in February. WOO-HOO!
After a three day weekend, today I’m back to the salt mines and yes I’m still working from home until July 1, 2021. After I finish at the salt mines, I have my monthly session with my shrink Dr. C which I really enjoy, because I get a lot of crazy shit out of my head and feel better afterwards. Other than that, I don’t have any other plan.
Over the past few years, I keep catching myself looking at, and complaining about, the negative and positive side of almost every little thing that I come across in life. From not so much diversity in movies and TV, to the fake diversity in movies and TV. From people who would do anything for attention, to people who I deeply believe should really get attention.
I mean, who the fuck does that?