Moody In The Morning

Good morning and happy Tuesday kids! I hope that you enjoy your day to the fullest.

As for me? This morning I was feeling a little moody and shit, but I understand that it goes with the bipolar territory. But I am happy to report, that I am doing way better right now. I am still working from home, but I am taking a vacation day this coming Thursday, in order to take my fury baby to the vet in the morning and see my urologist in the afternoon.

To be honest, sometimes I stop to worry and wonder what could be causing the blood in my urine, but the truth is, that there is nothing that I can do right now, but wait to see the urologist. The nice lady that setup the appointment for me over the phone yesterday, did tell me that if anything changes or gets worst, I should go straight to the emergency room, which I will. As a matter of fact, today has not been as bad as the other days, it is a bit clearer.

Well, today I will see my shrink after work and I will also be going to my Tuesday AA meeting, they both will really help me, by keeping my mind busy, rather than wondering around in bullshit land.

With that said, I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Here It Is, My Morning Urine Sample!

OK kids, just to show you that I’m not a bullshitter like many bloggers are, and since I like to talk with proof, I decided to provide you with a picture of what my urine looked like this morning… YES! That is blood mixed with it!

Saturday morning, when the emergency room doctor asked me what was wrong with me, I showed her a similar bottle, so she could see exactly what I saw that morning. After she got the tests results, she was concerned, but sent me home because I didn’t have any pain or blockage, but advised that I HAVE TO follow up with my primary physician and a urologist, because it could be a number of things, and they need to find out what exactly is going on, so it can be taken care.

Today I put in for a vacation day from the salt mines, in order to see my doctor about the blood in my urine and have her refer me to a urologist, but she was on vacation and the doctor who was supposed to replace her, is out today and might be for the rest of the week.

I Googled a couple of urologists near me but didn’t have any luck to be seen today or within the next few days. I did call a local hospital and the earliest appointment they had was for next Monday August 31, 2020 at 3:30 pm, so I took it.

So right now, since I don’t have any pain at all, just the blood in my urine, I’m just going to try and go on with my life as best as I can. I’m still taking the antibiotics that the ER doctor prescribed me on Saturday, my crazy meds, calcium, multivitamins and drinking a lot of water. Also, as of today The Boss aka my wife of 30+ years… she hates when I call her that though, she put me on a diet because my A1C, cholesterol and other shits were fucking stupid high. She says that she must take good care of me, because I’m worth more to her alive than dead… Yes! She doesn’t have a big sense of humor like I do, but sometimes she throws in a little joke here and there.

With that said, I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Keeping My Crazy Mind Busy

Yesterday, after everything was said and done in the ER about the blood in my urine, I really needed to keep my mind busy, so my OCD wouldn’t kick in and start running crazy thoughts of the worst future scenarios that can happen when I visit the urologist. So, my wife and I went to a family BBQ which we had been invited to prior to my ER visit. But since I couldn’t drink, I enjoyed myself as much as I could by eating, watching others play dominoes and talking with family and friends.

Since I’m facing the unknown right now, the trip really helped by keeping my mind from wondering about the what ifs. I am not going to lie, sometimes I did wonder, but it was not that bad, because I was not alone. Yesterday, I started to take the antibiotics that ER doctor prescribed me, then I have to setup the appointment with the urologist. That is all that I can really do right now because worrying is not going to change anything or help me in any way possible.

With that said, I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Blood In My Urine

Today I went to the emergency room because for the past three days, there have been a lot of blood in my urine, sometimes even with some blood clots. At first, I thought that it was artificial coloring from something I drank or ate. Then I thought that it had to do with the vitamins and calcium that I must take for the rest of my life, because of the sleeve gastrectomy surgery I had eight years ago to lose weight, due to health complications.

So, this morning I was really concerned, because there was still a lot of blood in my urine. They did blood and urine tests but didn’t find any bacteria or anything to be alarmed with. The doctor gave me antibiotics for one week and referred me to a urologist, to try and find out what’s exactly going on.

The doctor also told me to make sure that I drink a lot of water, since I admitted that I don’t drink enough on a regular basis.

With that said, I am Audi 5000 y’all!

It’s A Family Thing

Good morning and happy Saturday kids. I hope that wherever you are in this crazy planet we call home; you are enjoying yourself to the fullest.

On a family note! Yesterday I got the bad news, that one of my sisters, who was diagnosed with breast cancer and had surgery for it about a week ago, had a stroke three days ago and is in the hospital. Based on the latest information I got, she is doing fine, but is not able to walk. Why didn’t her husband notify us right away? Beats the shit out of me. But at least, she is still with us.

My wife and I wanted to visit her, but because of the COVID-19 pandemic, hospitals in New York City, only allow one visitor at a time with each patient, and her husband doesn’t want to leave her side, which is understandable since they’ve been together for over thirty years, have two daughters, two sons, a couple of grand kids and a dog I gave her last year, because she was very depressed after her other dog died.

Right now, since the hospitals here in New York City don’t want to keep patients too long, unless is really necessary, they are making plans to send her home and have a physical therapist visit her, to help her get back to her old self. So as soon as she is back home, my wife and I will visit her.

FYI, including myself, in total we are seven siblings, six older sisters and me. As a matter of fact, from an incredibly young age, I have always said that God has a sense of humor. You don’t believe me?  Check this out! In total, my mother gave birth to nine children, but a pair of twins died at different ages. My point is, that she did not give birth to so many kids because she enjoyed the pain of giving birth, but because all she wanted was to have a boy. Then on her last pregnancy, when she completely gave up on that boy, I came along. Now tell me that shit is not crazy!

With that said, I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Dealing With My Trust Issues

Good morning and TGIF kids! I hope that wherever you are in this crazy rock we call home; you are enjoying yourself to the fullest without alcohol or drugs. Remember, no matter how many times you have fucked up in the past, keep your head up and take it one day at a time.

Yesterday I went to my Thursday AA meeting, and even though I don’t share because of my social anxiety, I find it helpful to identify with those who do share. One thing that I have come to understand by listening to other people’s experiences is, that even though I’m an open minded and easy to get along person, I have to let my guard down and be open to new friendships.

What I’m saying is, that my entire life I have been dealing with trust issues, and that is the reason why I have a small circle of friends. The way that I’m starting to look at life is, that whatever is going to happen, is going to happen. If someone betrays me, fine, all I can do is move on.

With that said, I am Audi 5000 y’all!

I’m Missing Something Inside

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

OK kids, even though I have never been a very religious person, for years now, I’ve been feeling as if something has been missing in my life. I have been trying to figure it out like crazy, and the only explanation that I could come up with is, that I am missing a higher power. So yesterday, I went to church for the first time in years, and I really enjoyed it. As a matter of fact, I’m planning on going back on a regular basis.

The way that I look at it is, that by working with my shrink, getting out of my comfort zone no matter how uncomfortable it might feel sometimes, attending 2 AA meetings a week, going to church once a week and keeping myself busy with other things, I don’t need alcohol in my life.

With that said, I am Audi 5000 y’all!