Mentally Trapped

Good morning and happy hump day kids! I hope that you enjoy your day to the fullest and always remember, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT let no asshole fuck it up for you no matter what goes down.

Yesterday, after the video session with my shrink, I started to think that maybe, just maybe, my mood swing roller-coaster has to do with the fact, that I have been working from home since mid-March. The way that I am looking at it is, that I am not used to being home 24/7 and because of that, I feel the way that I feel.

I believe that what I need to do is to take breaks and go out for walks, so I won’t feel trapped in my own home. As a matter of fact, I am planning on starting my new routine today and that is the reason why I wrote this post while sitting in a park bench across the street from home. I really must learn how to let go and enjoy myself, because life is not just family and work, is more than that. The funny thing is, that my wife has always given me my space, but I have never took advantage of it. NOT ANY MORE!

With that said, I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Enjoying Life Without Alcohol

Yesterday I spent most of my day at my wife nephew’s birthday party in New Jersey. No worries kids, even though I was offered beer a couple of times, I did not drink… well, except soda. The reason why I was offered beer was, that most people don’t know that I’m going to AA meetings twice a week. The good thing is, that when I turned them down, they did not kept pushing the issue, like so many people do when they are drinking.

With that said, I am Audi 5000 y’all!

It’s A Family Thing

Good morning and happy Saturday kids. I hope that wherever you are in this crazy planet we call home; you are enjoying yourself to the fullest.

On a family note! Yesterday I got the bad news, that one of my sisters, who was diagnosed with breast cancer and had surgery for it about a week ago, had a stroke three days ago and is in the hospital. Based on the latest information I got, she is doing fine, but is not able to walk. Why didn’t her husband notify us right away? Beats the shit out of me. But at least, she is still with us.

My wife and I wanted to visit her, but because of the COVID-19 pandemic, hospitals in New York City, only allow one visitor at a time with each patient, and her husband doesn’t want to leave her side, which is understandable since they’ve been together for over thirty years, have two daughters, two sons, a couple of grand kids and a dog I gave her last year, because she was very depressed after her other dog died.

Right now, since the hospitals here in New York City don’t want to keep patients too long, unless is really necessary, they are making plans to send her home and have a physical therapist visit her, to help her get back to her old self. So as soon as she is back home, my wife and I will visit her.

FYI, including myself, in total we are seven siblings, six older sisters and me. As a matter of fact, from an incredibly young age, I have always said that God has a sense of humor. You don’t believe me?  Check this out! In total, my mother gave birth to nine children, but a pair of twins died at different ages. My point is, that she did not give birth to so many kids because she enjoyed the pain of giving birth, but because all she wanted was to have a boy. Then on her last pregnancy, when she completely gave up on that boy, I came along. Now tell me that shit is not crazy!

With that said, I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Feeling Empty, Sad And Alone

Today, I am going to be meeting my shrink Dr. C and I will be honest with him and tell him about how even though I am surrounded by people who love and care a lot about me, I drink because I feel empty, sad and alone inside. The truth must come out.

With that said, I am Audi 5000 y’all!

10 Days Sober

Good morning and happy Thursday kids, I hope that wherever you are in this crazy rock we call planet earth, you are enjoying your day.

As for me? I am happy to report that today I have been sober for 10 days… Yep, that’s right, 10 motherfucking days… WOO-HOO! Next week, I have an appointment with my shrink Dr. C and to be honest with you, I’m really going to start working with him on the internal issues that I have been dealing with, since I was a kid, like feeling lonely and not loving myself. It is crazy, but during the past week, I had many family members, friends and others, come to me to tell me how much they love me, how much they care about me and that they know that I can beat this shit. There is so much love around me, it is just fucking incredible.

With that said, I am Audi 5000 y’all!