Yesterday I spent most of my day at my wife nephew’s birthday party in New Jersey. No worries kids, even though I was offered beer a couple of times, I did not drink… well, except soda. The reason why I was offered beer was, that most people don’t know that I’m going to AA meetings twice a week. The good thing is, that when I turned them down, they did not kept pushing the issue, like so many people do when they are drinking.
Good morning and TGIF kids! I hope that wherever you are in this crazy rock we call home; you are enjoying yourself to the fullest without alcohol or drugs. Remember, no matter how many times you have fucked up in the past, keep your head up and take it one day at a time.
Yesterday I went to my Thursday AA meeting, and even though I don’t share because of my social anxiety, I find it helpful to identify with those who do share. One thing that I have come to understand by listening to other people’s experiences is, that even though I’m an open minded and easy to get along person, I have to let my guard down and be open to new friendships.
What I’m saying is, that my entire life I have been dealing with trust issues, and that is the reason why I have a small circle of friends. The way that I’m starting to look at life is, that whatever is going to happen, is going to happen. If someone betrays me, fine, all I can do is move on.
Today, I am going to be meeting my shrink Dr. C and I will be honest with him and tell him about how even though I am surrounded by people who love and care a lot about me, I drink because I feel empty, sad and alone inside. The truth must come out.
As I mentioned on yesterday’s super boring post, I got out of my comfort zone and drove about an hour to a casino in Pennsylvania with my wife, her mother, her stepfather and two friends.
I have to say, that even though I’m not into gambling, getting away from the every weekend routine, really helped me keep my crazy mind away from my weekend binge drinking. As a matter of fact, after the trip, I got home so tired, that I fell asleep as soon as my body hit the bed. So there you have it, a busy mind keeps the alcohol away.
Good morning and happy Thursday kids, I hope that wherever you are in this crazy rock we call planet earth, you are enjoying your day.
As for me? I am happy to report that today I have been sober for 10 days… Yep, that’s right, 10 motherfucking days… WOO-HOO! Next week, I have an appointment with my shrink Dr. C and to be honest with you, I’m really going to start working with him on the internal issues that I have been dealing with, since I was a kid, like feeling lonely and not loving myself. It is crazy, but during the past week, I had many family members, friends and others, come to me to tell me how much they love me, how much they care about me and that they know that I can beat this shit. There is so much love around me, it is just fucking incredible.