I am happy to report, that today is my 10th alcohol-free day and I feel fucking great! Aside from that, yesterday I saw a longtime friend of mine, who has been struggling with alcoholism for many years. The thing about him is that unlike me who can go months without drinking, he can only stop for a few days and then all bets are off.
I’ve seen him a couple of times this week, he looked drunk, and he told me that he has been drinking for days none stop. When I asked him how many days has it been? He didn’t remember. When I saw him yesterday, he told me that he was coming from an alcoholism program, but on his way home, he stopped to buy some beers, because he couldn’t help it, as a matter of fact, he showed them to me in a plastic bag. He also mentioned that because of his drinking, he hasn’t been eating, which I understood, because when I go on a bender, is the same thing.
The truth is, that yesterday I saw a reflection of myself in him. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not comparing myself to him, it’s just that I imagine that I must look something like that when I go on a bender for a few days. I just wished that I knew what to say to him. But how can I help someone, when I can’t help myself?
Yesterday during one of my smoke break from work, I saw a long time friend of mine, who has struggled with alcoholism for many years. He wasn’t drinking at the time, but he did mentioned that he fell off the wagon again. I told him that it’s OK, that he just needs to try harder and work with his doctors to stop drinking. I also added, that I too fell off the wagon and that the last time that I drank was last Wednesday March 31 and that I try to look for activities that keep my crazy mind busy. But on my way to get breakfast this morning, I saw him again and he told me that he fucked up once again. He was drunk as hell and I could see it. I told him that everybody fucks up and that once he stops drinking, he needs to try harder to stay sober.
I look around and feel sorry for how pathetic and miserable some people are. They choose to live their lives alone, simply because they blame everyone and their mother for every little bad shit that happened to them from day one, even if in some cases, they as adults are to blame for poor judgement and bad decision making.
I know life is hard… some times, but only because I’m having a bad day or had some bad life experiences… like everyone else, doesn’t mean that I have to take it out on the rest of civilization. The first thing that they need to do is, stop the fucking pity party, grow some cojones and stop blaming others for their own fuck ups, little by little get their shit together and then welcome people into their lives. I know that it is easier said than done, but it is doable.
Good morning and happy hump day kids, I hope that you enjoy your day to the fullest without letting an asshole fuck it up for you no matter what goes down.
As for me? Based on the app for drunks like me, today is my 9th alcohol-free day and I feel fucking great… WOO-HOO! As the days pass, I feel better and better, because my body is getting rid of all the fucked-up alcohol that I put in it during my last weekend binge. I’ve also been getting into the habit of taking my crazy meds every day, especially Lithium at night. Other than that, I’m chilling like a villain. So what’s up in your neck of the woods?